Friday, April 27, 2018

Emotional Maturity: February 23 2018

Charles West Mindfulness Group
Second and Fourth Friday of Month
Friday, February 23
at 1:00pm sharp
Party Room, Floor 31
Facilitator: Alainnah Robertson

As usual, we began our session this week with a meditation. A visualization lead-in is no longer
necessary, and even our inexperienced participants were surprised by how much time had passed.

The discussion that followed emphasised that everyone was no longer a beginner.
Everyone was enjoying meditation, and finding it helpful.

Continuing our exploration of emotional maturity, everyone has an understanding of what it
means: feeling an emotion; recognizing what it is and putting a name to it; researching what is
the trigger and understanding it.

Our discussion raised facets of our experiences that illustrated that our Group consists of mature
people, with long life experience, who are emotionally mature and are already practising
what we have been examining.

It was agreed that the value of what we are doing lies in deepening our understanding of the process,
and giving it a framework. This helps in understanding and justifying our behaviour and attitudes.  

Carol interjected at this point to say that she values our sessions. She finds them an oasis of peace
in her busy week, and enjoys our friendship as we share our stories.

CHOICES was the new topic introduced for consideration. We all have choices we have to make
in life, one of them being what to do about any bad experience that hurt us deeply in the past.

Carol immediately told us a story from her experience that completely illustrated the concept.

When a hurtful event happens in our life, it was recognized that it is necessary to talk about
our feelings and allow ourselves to feel them, whether to trusted family member, friend,
or counsellor. We need to explore what happened and gain an objective understanding
of the event, including the behaviour of all concerned.

The final point in Carol’s story was that she chose not to let a person hurt her any further.
This naturally led on to our next new topic.

BOUNDARIES was the next topic of discussion.  
If possible, the person who inflicted the wound should be approached to convey the degree
of hurt inflicted. If the person won’t listen to you, it might be a good idea to approach them again,
along with some else. If they are neither remorseful nor repentant, it is not necessary to forgive
the behaviour. We may feel sorry for the person, or not, but we may choose to move out
of their life, and move them out of our lives. This is perfectly legitimate. They had no right
to inflict such pain. We leave them in the past and choose to move into the present, with the
incident released from our emotions.

The discussion around this was instructive, and once again showed the maturity of our Group.
Everyone understood the concept, and some found it useful to realise that it is not necessary
to forgive the behaviour.

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