Monday, May 28, 2018

Relationships: Questions We Ought to Ask Ourselves

Charles West Mindfulness Group
2nd and 4th Friday of Month
Club/Recreation Room, Floor 31
1:00pm sharp - 3:00pm
Facilitator: Alainnah Robertson

Friday, May 25


Carol mentioned that she found our quiet time such a refuge from her busy life. She was looking forward
to our meditation.

Meditation: We meditated for 15 minutes.

Discussion: We began by revisiting the Intent and Vision of Relationships that we had worked
towards during our last session.

Our Intent and Vision for our Relationships
We want a relationship in which we ourselves behave in an emotionally mature fashion. Self-aware
and self-reflective, we act with emotional restraint. We practice empathy, making the effort to see
the point of view of the other person. We listen carefully, and patiently, to what is said before answering.
We honestly present our point of view, and set clear boundaries that we are not prepared to have crossed.
We love non-judgmentally, allowing the other person freedom from our control. We work with the other
person, without imposing our will on them.

We worked our way through the following questions, sharing with each other our attitudes, and examples in our own lives. Carol said that she has been putting into practice what we have been examining during our sessions together. She gave us a few examples which made the points we have been discussing. She has been improving her relationships, with a smile. She is happier, as a result.

Our Behaviour in Healthy Relationships
  1. Are we kind? Are we respectful and considerate of others. Do we want to make them happy?
  2. Are we clear about our needs? Do we know what makes us happy? Are we honest?
  3. Do we expect everyone else to know our needs without having to be told?
  4. Do we express clearly what we want? Have we learned to do this with a smile?
  5. Do we express gratitude? Do we thank the other person for what they do for us?

Homework: We all agreed that our homework would be looking for anything in our lives that we are still carrying with us from the past. We will practice acepting the past, forgiving the other person, and, more importantly, forgiving ourselves, if this is necessary. We will close the door on the past. Life is not fair, and we have to make the most of the hand that we are dealt. We can choose to be a victim, and wallow in any pleasure this gives us, or choose to be a victor. We can whine and moan about our lot, or rise above it. We can choose to overcome, rather than allow ourselves to be defeated by misfortune from the past. Tomorrow is a new day, and we can learn from the past, and make the future better. The choice is ours!

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